With nerves coming out of my body

by Jaime Sabines (translation by Robert David Cohen)


With nerves coming out of my body like rags,
like straws from an old broom,
and the bundle of my soul on the floor, still crawling,
everything exhausted, more than my own legs,
tired of using my heart every day,
here I am on this bed, at this hour,
waiting for the collapse
the imminent fall that will bury me.
(Close your eyes as if to sleep
Mustn’t move a leaf of your body.
This can happen at any moment:
Be quiet now.
Handkerchiefs of air turn slowly
heavy shadows scrape the walls,
the sky sucks you through the ceiling.)
Tomorrow you’ll have to get up again
to walk among people.
And you will love the sun and the cold,
the cars, the trains,
the dress shops and the stables,
the walls where lovers are pasted
like decals when evening falls,
the lonely parks where misfortune strolls,
head hanging, and where dreams sit down to rest
and some guy reaches for love under a skirt
while an ambulance siren marks the hour
to enter death’s factory.
You will love the miraculous city and, inside her, the field of dreams,
the river of avenues lit by so many people wanting the same thing,
the open doors of bars, the surprises of bookstores,
the flower shop, the barefoot kids
who don’t want to be heroes of misery,
and the awnings, the advertisements,
the rush of people going nowhere.
You’ll love the asphalt and the skylights
and the drainage pumps and cranes
and the palaces and luxury hotels
and the lawns of homes with guard dogs
and two or three people who are also going to die.
You will love the smell of food stands
attracting the hungry like beacons every night,
and your head will spin around to the perfume
a woman leaves hanging in the air like a boa.
And you’ll love the amusement parks
where the poor go for vertigo and laughter,
and the zoo where everyone feels important,
and the hospital where pain creates more brothers
than poverty can make,
and the daycare centers where children are playing,
and everywhere tenderness sprouts like a stalk
and every last thing has you saying thank you.
Run your hand over the furniture’s skin,
wipe off the dust you let fall on the mirrors.
Everywhere, seeds want to be born.
(Like a scarlet fever, life will suddenly burst from you.)
From Poemas sueltos (1951 - 1961)

For Rachel


Just insert Rachel where you see
World. Where you see
Time. Where you see
Life. Just insert Rachel where you see
Apricot. Where you see
Death.
Insert Rachel exactly where she was standing
Just a minute ago.
At least let her wash her hands
Before saying goodbye.
Break open a headline for her every morning
Feature her on the front page above the fold
Weeping and laughing
Casting a shaft of light
Across bad news.
Now that she’s not here
Rachel might as well be
Everywhere.
Now that she’s not one
She might as well be
Many.
She might as well be
Tuning forks and weather forecasts
Oxygen for heartbeats
And pandemics
She might as well be
Those young beauties painting the sky
Midwifing today because there’s no
Tomorrow.
Lost and Founds are everywhere
So just lose her and find her
Empty handed refugee
Overflowing with riches.
Sing in the chorus of Rachel’s scars
Surrender to the pull of
Gravities she never intended to exert
Dan, take her unused health
A few of her unlived hours will be mine
Unwritten chapters for everyone
All her sweet and impossible to-do’s.
And why not just be her
Be her and every good and kind not-Rachel
Be the solid girl
Left standing in the center
After the fall of the nested Russian dolls.
Hold out your bottomless basket
For gifts she wrapped in life and now must bestow
In death.
The wheel of sparks she spun is still spinning
The seed of power she planted is sprouting
For you now
Whatever you are now.
What’s a catastrophic aortic dissection from root to iliac
In the grand scheme of things anyway?
There’s still time for her
Specificity in the world
A green inch for her in the Secret Garden
A wave for her particle to surf
Deep into the lives of her grandsons.
Rachel, read to me aloud from the book
Of your 72 years
Every night before bed
I’m listening!
The book with 41 chapters you honored me with
And I will massage your feet
Preparing for our dream.
New York, 3 September 2021