Just insert Rachel where you see
World. Where you see
Time. Where you see
Life. Just insert Rachel where you see
Apricot. Where you see
Death.
Insert Rachel exactly where she was standing
Just a minute ago.
At least let her wash her hands
Before saying goodbye.
Break open a headline for her every morning
Feature her on the front page above the fold
Weeping and laughing
Casting a shaft of light
Across bad news.
Now that she’s not here
Rachel might as well be
Everywhere.
Now that she’s not one
She might as well be
Many.
She might as well be
Tuning forks and weather forecasts
Oxygen for heartbeats
And pandemics
She might as well be
Those young beauties painting the sky
Midwifing today because there’s no
Tomorrow.
Lost and Founds are everywhere
So just lose her and find her
Empty handed refugee
Overflowing with riches.
Sing in the chorus of Rachel’s scars
Surrender to the pull of
Gravities she never intended to exert
Dan, take her unused health
A few of her unlived hours will be mine
Unwritten chapters for everyone
All her sweet and impossible to-do’s.
And why not just be her
Be her and every good and kind not-Rachel
Be the solid girl
Left standing in the center
After the fall of the nested Russian dolls.
Hold out your bottomless basket
For gifts she wrapped in life and now must bestow
In death.
The wheel of sparks she spun is still spinning
The seed of power she planted is sprouting
For you now
Whatever you are now.
What’s a catastrophic aortic dissection from root to iliac
In the grand scheme of things anyway?
There’s still time for her
Specificity in the world
A green inch for her in the Secret Garden
A wave for her particle to surf
Deep into the lives of her grandsons.
Rachel, read to me aloud from the book
Of your 72 years
Every night before bed
I’m listening!
The book with 41 chapters you honored me with
And I will massage your feet
Preparing for our dream.
New York, 3 September 2021
